on shining

(I feel like there are so many layers to this onion I've been chewing on {ew? ok, maybe lets say a cinnamon roll?}; here's my best attempt at talking about one... or a couple)

 

This quote was shared at our Noonday Ambassador Conference in January, and I've been mulling over it ever since:

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  

As we are liberated from our own fear,  our presence automatically liberates others.” 

-Marianne Williamson

For the longest time, my struggle was believing that I wasn't adequate. And then when I did believe I was, my security was misplaced in winning the approval of others and being the best at everything.

 

Once I confessed that junk and realized where my security and power comes from, I've found great healing and freedom in Christ. (I've talking about this in previous posts and even spoke on this at our last women's retreat; I'll eventually get that posted, too)

 

Recently, though, one of my struggles has also become worrying about making others feel insecure because of what I can do and what they can't.

Worrying about the comparison, judgement, jealousy of others.

 

But I don't have control over the hearts of my sisters in Christ. That's God's domain. I must pray that they surrender that to Jesus and that my humility and dependence on Jesus is evident in my life.

 

I constantly have to make sure my heart is in the right place. When I use my talents to serve the world and to point that toward Jesus' healing power in my life, that is when I shine. That is when I am bringing glory to God. That is when I give others the permission to shine, too.
 

 

Run your own race, ladies.
Run to win the prize!
Discover what God made you to do and do it brilliantly!
Share it with your friends, your family, your neighbors, your community...
Share it with the world!

 

"But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved."
-Hebrews 10:39

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..."
 -Hebrews 12:1

 

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?
Run in such a way as to get the prize."
-1 Corinthians 9:24

 

And next time I'll talk about how I was tempted to shrink back
because I believed the lie that I wasn't good enough at something.
Yes, perfectionism is still my enemy, but I'm fighting back.
I am not destroyed by it.
I am choosing faith, not flesh or fear.

the grand canyon

Another post I never put up, but this one is definitely an important one to mention this year:

I hiked the Grand Canyon.

I didn't just hike the Grand Canyon...

I back-packed through the Grand Canyon!!!

It was a life changing experience for sure.

I trained my body to get through it -

and I didn't just get through it -

I did well doing it, too!

I think that is a big lesson I took from my trip.

I don't want to just get through things and say I did them -

I want to say I did my best, I did well.

This was one of the first times in my life that I felt true pride in something I accomplished.

Since I've also never been a physically active person in the traditional sense, I was also amazed that I could get my body to do that. (the week before hiking the canyon, I ran a 5k distance for the first time in my life as well!)

The examples of friendship and perseverance (not to mention moxie!) on our trip are also ones I won't soon forget.

There was a true sense of communitas on our trip.

If you're not familiar with this word:

com·mu·ni·tas:

the sense of sharing and intimacy that develops among persons who experience liminality as a group.

God really saw us through to the end.

We were mindful of His hand in our lives as we shared what the trip meant to all of us our second night there.

It's amazing what He's done and continues to do in each of our lives.

I know it's become kind of trite - but I use the word with reverence - the beauty of His creation was also so awe inspiring...

He is awesome.

Here's a couple more of the beautiful sights we saw, though I probably don't need to tell you that they don't do much justice to the real thing...

Love you girls - so sooooooo much!