on shining

(I feel like there are so many layers to this onion I've been chewing on {ew? ok, maybe lets say a cinnamon roll?}; here's my best attempt at talking about one... or a couple)

 

This quote was shared at our Noonday Ambassador Conference in January, and I've been mulling over it ever since:

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  

As we are liberated from our own fear,  our presence automatically liberates others.” 

-Marianne Williamson

For the longest time, my struggle was believing that I wasn't adequate. And then when I did believe I was, my security was misplaced in winning the approval of others and being the best at everything.

 

Once I confessed that junk and realized where my security and power comes from, I've found great healing and freedom in Christ. (I've talking about this in previous posts and even spoke on this at our last women's retreat; I'll eventually get that posted, too)

 

Recently, though, one of my struggles has also become worrying about making others feel insecure because of what I can do and what they can't.

Worrying about the comparison, judgement, jealousy of others.

 

But I don't have control over the hearts of my sisters in Christ. That's God's domain. I must pray that they surrender that to Jesus and that my humility and dependence on Jesus is evident in my life.

 

I constantly have to make sure my heart is in the right place. When I use my talents to serve the world and to point that toward Jesus' healing power in my life, that is when I shine. That is when I am bringing glory to God. That is when I give others the permission to shine, too.
 

 

Run your own race, ladies.
Run to win the prize!
Discover what God made you to do and do it brilliantly!
Share it with your friends, your family, your neighbors, your community...
Share it with the world!

 

"But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved."
-Hebrews 10:39

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..."
 -Hebrews 12:1

 

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?
Run in such a way as to get the prize."
-1 Corinthians 9:24

 

And next time I'll talk about how I was tempted to shrink back
because I believed the lie that I wasn't good enough at something.
Yes, perfectionism is still my enemy, but I'm fighting back.
I am not destroyed by it.
I am choosing faith, not flesh or fear.

focus

I've never chosen a word for the year like many I know. I just got stuck in the thinking about it stage and never go around to the doing it part. This year it was pretty cool how this word kept popping up in my thoughts and prayers.  And, also, ironic that this is that word I believe God put before me: 

focus

Here's the merriam-webster definition of focus:

: a subject that is being discussed or studied : the subject on which people's attention is focused

: a main purpose or interest

: a point at which rays of light, heat, or sound meet or from which they move apart or appear to move apart; especially : the point at which an image is formed by a mirror, a lens, etc.

I tend to be spread every which way most of the time. I can't decide where I should be looking, where I should be spending my time, where I can get the biggest bang for my buck. I need focus.

I'm a BIG day dreamer, and big wisher, hoper, feeler. But that puts me in all sort of places that never seem to end, all muddled up and never "form into something clear" (which is essentially a definition of focus). And then I tend to try to do a bunch of fun things but have no real purpose or goal behind them. Good intentions without good planning ends up with little to show for my efforts.

I also love thinking of it from an artist's persepective. Photographers need to understand focus very well to decide on how to shoot a subject. Parts of a frame are composed very strategically to give the viewer something they can focus their eyes on. 

I can see the world so differently depending on where my gaze is focused.

Not only that, but my main focus needs to be Jesus, as it so often is not.

Focus on Jesus.

Focus on what he's called me to do right now.

Focus on things that matter: relationships, community, passions, health

Because these things are lasting and worth my time.

"Where does my focus need to be right now?"

This is what I'll be asking a lot this year.

Did you pick a word or set goals for 2015?

I'd love to hear them! Share them in a comment below. 

what do you truly long for?

I wrote this a couple weeks ago and forgot to post it:

I often times don't make time to sit and process through my sermon notes through the week.

Part of that is due to having not as much free time, part of it is due to not making the time for it. This year I'm starting to do that for myself and so that my crock-pot brain can get muster up something more to say during community group. :)

One of the questions from a couple weeks ago was something like:

"If you were honest with yourself, what do you truly long for?"

Purpose. That's what popped into my head.

I'm constantly searching for something to make me feel satisfied, purposeful, or fulfilled...

If I let my life get away from me and I loose focus on what I'm living for -

I feel like I have no purpose for being around.

God made us to glorify Him.

That's my purpose and I keep forgetting it!

I'm starting to pray that this year I start to remember that faster -

In the times I'm tempted to shut down...

When I'm too tired to make time...

At the moments I just don't want to go that extra mile...

I'm made to bring glory to God!

I pray that in that clarity I'm able to love God & others more fully, devote myself entirely to what He wants me to be, and figure out just what it means for me to bring glory to His name.

Stay tunned for more on this subject...

;)