Saturday, February 15, 2014

made for another world

Good conversations happen over food.
It's just a fact.

Back in January we went out to breakfast with our friends.
We can pretty much talk about anything and everything with these people -
We've been through life together.
We love them.

We got on the subject of careers and life purpose.
It was so interesting because we had an interesting mix of personalities in the mix -
Some of us are dreamy, wanderlusting, adventure seeking, spontaneous-to-the-max types -
Some of us are kinda caught between the dreamy and the practical side of things -
Some of us are very driven by responsibility, perseverance and just plan 'ol "get 'er done" mentality.

It was so good to hear what each of us had to say on the subject because it is truly important to understand where others are coming from.
I love that I'm apart of a community that instils this value - it is so encouraging!

So... naturally, when I got home...
I turned into a big hot mess.
I started weeping.
(its not uncommon for me to cry, of course, but this was a pretty big one)
Now, mind you, this was a couple months after I'd had some really tough wrestling with my sin in the areas of perfection (read more about that here) and found some healing and repentance there.
Clearly there was still something there I hadn't dealt with fully.

Why am I always looking forward to the next best thing?
Why do I tell myself, if you can just get through these next couple of days you'll be okay -
Why have I found myself always looking forward to something else -
Only to find that when I'm in that "perfect" time - it feels... empty...?
Less than I imaged?
Not as great as I thought it would be?

Have I lived my whole life like this?
Yeah... I think I have.

I'm reminded of a C.S. Lewis quote that pretty much hits the hammer on the nail:

image found here

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

-Matthew 6:19-21 (ESV) 

Words I've probably heard over a hundred times in my life.
I grew up in church, so I should have taken them to heart, right?

I have had my fingers clasped so tight around this world that its been almost impossible for me to think about another one.
Just another example of using my God given beautiful gifts in ways He did not intend.

I love beautiful things.
I love to make beautiful things.
I love to be around beautiful things.
Objects, people, places... things.
All temporary.
Except the people.
They aren't temporary beings.
They are eternal.
But I've been focusing on their exteriors, what they can do, what they can do for me, how successful them seem to be -
All which is temporary.
(Judge, much, Sarah?)

Now, their interiors... their soul, their worth as an image-bearer -
those are eternal.
I've been focusing on all the things that don't matter!
(that's not to say I always missed the important things and completely overlooked others, but I think I have more often that I care to admit)

This place we live in, this place isn't the be all, end all.
Heaven is.
I can't find any lasting pleasure here because its not to be found here.

But the relationships I make here -
Those are important.
Those mean something.
Those last.

And then, above all that still -
Jesus is the reason I can even love those people.
Jesus is why any of that stuff can matter.

To be continued...

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