Friday, June 1, 2012


I don't know how to gently ease into this subject...
So I'll just come right out and say it:

Boy, have I been in a battle with my flesh lately. Big time.

It's funny (well, maybe more frustrating than funny) to me that coming out of a time of intense learning and anticipation of applying that learning, I just wanted to give up.

Ugh! I kept wondering, what is my problem??

I've been reminded of the vital importance of discipline... of pursuing Jesus daily... been challenged by the Holy Spirit to give up my selfish desires and to give of myself... to seek out God's purposes for my life...

But I just can't seem to get it together!

Well, just like everyone else out there, I'm human.
And I've been letting my own human desire get in the way of God's more than a little lately.

I can list lots of reason for this but I want to address the power of community and scripture right now.

I've not been in community enough lately.
It's not always been intentionally avoided, I just haven't been present.
And I truly felt it.
I need community.
Not because I can't try to do it on my own... because I can...
...But not very well.

I truly believe that God intends us to live in community because it helps us reach such potential that we simply cannot on our own.

The encouragement, accountability, reality checks, honesty, shared ambitions, swift-kicks-in-the-behind... and just the idea that I know they are there to point me to Christ and help hold me up... I cannot express how vital it has become to my life.

It also just so happens... I'm reading "Community" by Brad House right now.
As Andrew and I were talking about group last night (we meet on thursdays), the subject of ownership was brought up.
This book addresses the idea that the ownership of our faith inspires us to grow in it and share it.
I think I've really been lacking ownership of myself and what I believe in.

There's a gazillion reasons I could list as to why, but lets just say I'm in need of some owning up to myself... the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between.

I've also been slacking at keeping up with my scripture memorization and I can really tell the difference it's made in my days.
There is power in God's Word.
I've truly seen a difference in my life since I've been memorizing it, and when I'm not, it is missed.
I'll just leave it at that and one of my verses for the month:

"My soul finds rest in God alone; 
my salvation comes from him. 
He alone is my rock and my salvation; 
He is my fortress, 
I will not be shaken."

-Psalm 62:1-2


  1. Thank you for your vulnerability, Sarah. I love your heart and I am thankful that you are learning what you are, 'cause it's some good stuff (even though it's hard in the midst of it). Love you!

    1. thanks, angela! i get a little nervous about being so honest, but i so appreciate having friends like you who encourage and inspire me so often!

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this Sarah. I feel like for the first time in 10 years, I am finally being consistent with being in the Word, looking to Jesus throughout the day, and craving God's will for my life. Struggles like you are going through have brought me to this place which is awesome...but I know how easily my flesh can tear my heart away from this place. I am trying to be SO careful to not let that happen because I know I slip so easily. Just trying to really lean on Jesus! Thanks for letting me share with you :)

    1. thank YOU for sharing, alysa - i really appreciate it! :)

  3. The thing that sticks out to me the most is that you are so sensitive to what you are feeling, and that you can verbalize where the gaps have been in your life lately. That means the Holy Spirit is active and working! Keep fighting friend!

    No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops.
    (2 Timothy 2:4-6 ESV)